Bottoming can feel scary and uncomfortable for some tops, especially if their anal sphincter is tight. It is important for new tops to get their butts loose so that they can relax and enjoy anal sex.
A good way to loosen up the anal is by doing some foreplay with fingers, a tongue, or a dildo. Some also like to use nipple clamps.
1. It Feels Like Orgasm
A lot of nerves are crammed into the anus, so it’s no surprise that sexual stimulation here can feel like an orgasm. In fact, anal orgasms (especially for prostate-owning bottoms) can be bigger and better than vaginal orgasms. And, of course, they’re totally safe and normal.
To get an anal orgasm, it’s best to start with some foreplay. This can be anything from touching erogenous zones to cuddling, and everything in between. Some people even enjoy anal foreplay with sex toys, such as a vibrator or a dildo. Just be sure to keep lube handy (non-negotiable) to ensure that your anal play is comfortable and pleasurable.
You may notice oozing of milky fluid from your penis during anal orgasms, which is called “milking.” This is normal. It’s actually a sign that you have an abundant supply of testosterone and prolactin, both of which are sexual hormones that make your anal orgasms more intense and enjoyable.
To increase your pleasure, try lube with a bit of extra heat or texture. A bit of friction can also help, so try stroking the anal area to stimulate it. And of course, always use a condom when anal penetration occurs, as this will reduce the likelihood of an STI. It’s also important to remember that if anal foreplay hurts, it’s time to stop. Pain is your body’s way of telling you that you need more lube or to slow down.
2. It Feels Like Feeling Pain
For those who are new to anal sex, it can be uncomfortable and even painful at first. This is because the muscles in your anus are tighter than those in the vagina. For this reason, it is important to take it slow and use plenty of lube when engaging in anal play. Additionally, make sure you talk to your partner ahead of time about their comfort levels and sexual preferences. This way, you can avoid surprises down there.
While it may be uncomfortable at first, most people find that anal sex feels intensely pleasurable as they continue to engage in it. This is because the anus contains many nerve endings and can provide intense sensations when inserted with a penis, dildo, or finger. It also stimulates the prostate, which can lead to orgasms of its own.
For beginners, it is helpful to practice foreplay with small anal toys and fingers. This will help the muscles to loosen up and prepare for penetration. As you continue to practice, it will become easier to insert your penis and experience the pleasure that comes with it. Just remember to always use a condom, regardless of who is doing the penetrating and keep an eye out for any signs of blood — which is normal, but should never be ignored and can indicate that the anal muscles are being torn open and that you should seek medical attention.
3. It Feels Like Feeling Love
For many people, including both tops and bottoms, anal sex is very erotic. “The anus is full of nerve endings and it’s a pleasure to have a penis or sex toy inserted there,” says Dr. Blair. Especially with thrusting, anal play can feel intense and sensual.
And the sensations can be even more intense when an anal orgasm is experienced. According to this Health article, anal orgasm is similar to a clitoral orgasm, with a pulse of pleasurable contractions around the anal sphincter. But just like the vagina, the anus needs to be properly lubricated for optimal penetration and enjoyment. That’s why many people recommend using a water-based anal lubricant for anal sex.
Whether you’re a top or a bottom, anal sex is a great way to get to know your body better and have some fun. And don’t forget to use protection! STIs and HIV can be spread through anal sex, so make sure you’re using a condom.
For first-time bottoms, it’s often a good idea to do some foreplay with adult sex toys and fingers before attempting anal penetration. This will help warm up the anus and will make it much easier for the penis to go in. And, as always, remember to breathe and go slowly! If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ask for a break.
4. It Feels Like Feeling Alive
For many people, whether they’re giving anal or receiving it, this type of sexual sensation is arousing. Giving anal sex can make the giver feel dominant, and receiving it can be very sensual and fulfilling. It also can feel very intense and hot, since the muscles of the anal sphincter are tighter than those in the vagina. This can intensify the pleasure and make it more sexually satisfying (this is another reason lube is non-negotiable).
For people who are interested in trying bottoming for the first time, there are some things that can help ensure that their experience is comfortable, safe, and pleasurable. Before beginning, it’s important to do some foreplay to get the muscles and skin on both sides of the anus warmed up. This can be done by using fingers, a dildo, or even a tongue. It’s also a good idea to turn on some sexy music or erotica and light some candles for added atmosphere.
For beginners, it can be helpful to use a beginner butt toy that’s easy to insert. Then, slowly and with the help of lube, work up to deeper penetration. Just remember to always listen to your body and stop when it starts to hurt, or if you’re starting to lose control of yourself (another reason why anal lube is a must). With practice, you can learn how to enjoy bottoming just as much as anyone else!