Men who have sex with men are often described as bottoms or tops, and some choose not to self-label at all. But what is it like to bottom for the first time?
Gay sex is all but absent from mainstream media, and the few scenes that do exist tend to misrepresent typical sexual encounters. So, INSIDER talked to several men who have experienced bottoming for the first time.
Orgasms
Many people experience orgasms during sexual activity. The feeling is caused by increased blood flow to the area and the release of feel-good chemicals called endorphins. It can be intense, but it is also safe and healthy. Regardless of whether you are straight or gay, you can experience orgasms during sex with your partner. You may even have multiple orgasms during a session.
For gay men, anal sex can be fun and thrilling. However, it’s important to have plenty of lube on hand. You don’t want to rely on saliva for lubrication because it is not effective. Store-bought lubricants are designed to stay slippery and will help you avoid tearing, which can lead to pain and discomfort.
Before anal sex, it’s a good idea to do some foreplay and have a sense of what turns you on. You can try kissing, caressing, and fingering. Some people also enjoy licking, sucking and stroking. Some like to use a mouthful of saliva during oral sex to make it more intense.
Many gay men avoid anal sex because it’s not always possible or comfortable. They may have health issues or prefer to stick with other intimate practices, like extended foreplay, rimming and mutual masturbation. A study by Callen-Lorde, a community health center in New York City, found that only 19% of self-identified LGBTQ men engage in anal sex.
Emotions
For many people, especially those who have spent a significant amount of time in the closet, their first gay sex experience will be filled with a wide range of emotions. This is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. However, it is important to be prepared for this to help reduce stress and ensure a smooth experience. Douching is one way to do this. It is a simple but effective way to prepare the anal area for penetration and can provide a sensation similar to orgasms. Some men also find it helpful to eat something just before sexual activity.
Another thing to be aware of is that homosexual sex can feel different depending on what role you play during penetrative sex. Gay males often use terms like topping or bottoming to denote their roles during sex, but this is not necessarily indicative of a permanent preference. It may simply be a means of communication for those who are uncomfortable using explicit language in intimate situations.
It is also important to be aware of the possibility of sexual anxiety in gay men. Often, this can be a symptom of underlying issues such as sexual trauma or abuse. If these issues are not addressed, they can lead to a decrease in sexual activity, relationship satisfaction, and overall quality of life.
Sense of belonging
Gay men can experience a sense of belonging by sharing sex with other gay men. They can participate in a variety of sexual activities, such as kissing/snogging, caressing, male masturbation and fellatio. They can also engage in penetrative sex with one another. It is important for these men to use condoms to prevent the transmission of STIs.
Research on the sexual experiences of gay men is limited. Most studies focus on the relationship between homosexuality and mental health, but few have explored the relationship between sexual activity and a sense of belonging. In addition, research on gay sex is often stigmatized and a taboo subject. As a result, researchers may face challenges in obtaining access to and trust from these individuals.
Many people have misconceptions about gay sex, and some of these are perpetuated by popular media. For example, the 2005 film “Brokeback Mountain” depicted quick, spur-of-the-moment tent sex between two men. Nevertheless, these types of sexual encounters are not typical of most gay relationships.
Most gay men experience a process of sexual identity development. During this process, the individual becomes aware of, acknowledges and accepts his sexuality as homosexual. This is known as coming out. It occurs on several levels – psychological, interpersonal and intergroup. It can have positive and negative impacts on mental health and sexual wellbeing.
Relationships
Gay sex feels different in relationships, depending on whether you’re the top or bottom. Some people in gay relationships may have anal sex more often than others, and that’s okay. You should always be able to decide what is most comfortable for you and your partner. You should also make sure that you’re protected from STDs with a condom whenever you have sex with a man, especially if you’re a top.
Some gay men report having anal sex only on occasion, and they might not even have penetration during that. This reflects heteronormative ideas about gender and sexual roles in relationships.
Research shows that gay and lesbian couples are more likely to be flexible in their attitudes toward sex. Specifically, they may be less receptive to negative comments from their partners, and they tend to take these remarks less personally. That’s a good thing.
Gay sex is just like any other kind of sex, but it’s important to keep your senses open and experiment with what feels best for you. You might be surprised at what you find! And remember, you can always ask for help if you need it. Regardless of what you do, it’s important to have safe sex, and to get yourself tested for HIV and other STIs once every six months. And don’t forget to use plenty of lube!
