Ghosting is always a terrible thing to go through, but it’s even more painful when it happens after you’ve been intimate. Especially since sex heightens your emotional connection and releases oxytocin, making you feel even more connected to the person.
But the real question is, why do guys ghost after sex?
1. They’re not ready for a relationship.
Being ghosted is tough no matter when it happens, but it can feel especially painful after sex. That’s because sex heightens our emotional connections, releasing the bonding hormone oxytocin, making it harder to break down barriers. So, when a guy suddenly stops calling or texting you, it can feel like you’ve been abandoned and rejected.
And that’s because, in some cases, a guy who ghosts you after sex is simply not ready for a relationship. According to dating coach Mike Goldstein, men sometimes ghost after sex because they’re not ready for commitment and don’t want to put in the work needed to grow a relationship with you.
This is a common reason for guys to ghost, but it can still be hurtful if you were hoping to develop a more serious relationship with the person. It’s also possible that they realized their sexual connection with you was never going to be as strong as they thought it would be.
Whatever the case, it’s important to remember that ghosting is not your fault. If you’re wondering why someone ghosted you, overanalyzing it will only make you more sad and angrier. Instead, try to focus on what you can control, which is being open and honest with your partner about your expectations and boundaries. Then, you can avoid situations that could lead to ghosting in the future.
2. They’re seeing someone else.
When it comes to relationships, sex is one of the most intimate activities that you can engage in with another person. When you feel a strong connection with someone, the oxytocin (also known as the “love hormone”) is released, which can lead to feelings of intimacy and closeness. Unfortunately, this can also cause a lot of confusion when it comes to dating because it may lead people to act in unexpected ways.
For example, some people may ghost after sex because they’re seeing someone else. While it may be hard to understand why a person would suddenly stop talking to you, it’s important not to jump to conclusions and assume the worst. Instead, try asking them what happened. Chances are, they’re not intentionally being rude and they probably just forgot to call or text you back.
It’s also possible that a guy who ghosted after sex was just interested in hooking up and didn’t want to commit to a relationship with you. This is another common reason for ghosting, but it’s still disappointing and disrespectful. If you want to avoid getting ghosted, try not to commit to someone until you know they’re serious about being in a relationship with you. To help with this, you can use a tool like Spymaster, which digs up hidden social media profiles, dating apps, photos, criminal records, and more so you can see if someone is lying about who they are.
3. They don’t want a relationship.
If a guy ghosts you after sex, it might be because he doesn’t want a relationship. This could be because he only wanted sex or a friends with benefits situation, or it may be because he’s nervous about entering a serious commitment. Whatever the reason, it’s not your fault if this is how they feel.
While some people might think that it’s childish for someone to ghost you, this is actually a very common reason. When a guy doesn’t want to pursue a relationship, it can be easier for them to simply ghost you than to break up with you in a mature manner.
If they see that you’re clingy or needy, they may start to worry that they’re not good enough for you. They might also feel like they’re competing with other men for your time and attention. This is why it’s important to keep your distance from him if you’re not interested in a long-term relationship.
When a guy ghosts you after sex, you might find yourself asking what went wrong. But, overanalyzing the situation will only make it worse. Instead, try to distract yourself by going out with friends or doing something else that will take your mind off the situation. Then, you’ll be able to focus on moving forward with your life without dwelling on the past.
4. They feel justified in ghosting you.
Sometimes, people don’t have their lives figured out or they feel insecure about commitment, so they ghost to avoid being hurt. A 2019 Buzzfeed poll found that 81 percent of people who’ve ghosted someone justified their behavior by saying they weren’t into them anymore or wanted something else. Regardless of how they rationalize it, being ghosted is incredibly immature.
Men sometimes ghost after sex because they realize they are not interested in you emotionally and don’t need to be tied down to a relationship. According to dating and relationships expert Kamil Lewis, AMFT, guys who ghost don’t want to be held accountable for their actions so they use silence and disappearance as a way of communicating that.
They might also have a player mentality and think of you as just another girl they can hook up with. They might have gotten lustful with you and thought it was love but once the lust wears off, usually after intimacy, they know it wasn’t.
It’s hard to believe but it does happen. If you find out that your match has been ghosting you, don’t let it get you down and remember that you deserve better. If they don’t want to commit to you, it doesn’t mean that they are bad people; it just means that they are not worth your time or energy.