It’s not something we talk about very much, but feeling sad or depressed after sex is quite common. This is called postcoital dysphoria and can affect people of all genders and ages. It can last from a few minutes to several hours.
It’s important to understand why you feel this way. It may be because you lack intimacy or a meaningful emotional connection. It could also be a sign of sexual frustration.
Feelings of inadequacy
If you’re feeling depressed after sex, you’re not alone. This feeling is called postcoital dysphoria (PCD), and it can happen even after a completely consensual, pleasurable, orgasm. These symptoms include tearfulness, anxiety, agitation, and a sense of melancholy. PCD is more common in women, but it can affect men as well. Those with sexual trauma, particularly a history of sexual assault, can also be more likely to experience it.
Symptoms of depression after sex may be caused by a variety of factors. For example, sex might trigger the release of oxytocin, which makes us feel bonded and connected to our partners. When this feeling disappears, we might feel disappointed in ourselves and our partner. This can be especially true if we had high expectations, or if the sex was an intense experience.
Other reasons you might feel sad after sex are that you’re not getting enough pleasure, or that your sexual partner isn’t meeting your needs. Whether you’re in a kinky relationship or a vanilla relationship, the best way to avoid feeling depressed after sex is to talk about it with your partner. It’s important to be open with each other and discuss your feelings, and it can be helpful to try out different positions or ways to touch each other. This will help you both discover what you need from each other and how to meet those needs.
Feelings of failure
For some, there is a natural comedown after sex that can feel like a disappointment. This can be a sign that something is wrong in the relationship or even a hormonal quirk, but for others it can be a very serious feeling. Regardless of what it is, it’s important to talk about these feelings with your partner or a therapist. This will help you find a way to work through the sadness that may be accompanying it.
Those who have underlying anxieties or concerns are more likely to experience these negative emotions after sex, especially if they are struggling with their body image or have been in previous relationships that were unhappy or abusive. A lack of trust in the relationship is also a common cause of these feelings, as is the worry that their partner is thinking bad things about them.
It’s not uncommon for women to experience these feelings of disappointment, but men can experience them too. It is a condition known as postcoital tristesse or dysphoria (PCD) and it can happen to anyone, regardless of how good the sex was. Symptoms of PCD can include crying, anxiety, agitation, a sense of melancholy or depression and even aggression. It can be caused by any number of things, including hormones, childhood and adult trauma, relationship issues, and a lack of trust.
Feelings of disappointment
Although many people report feeling sad after sex, there is often no real reason. However, if it happens regularly and interferes with your relationship or causes you to avoid intimacy altogether, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you identify and address any underlying issues that are causing you to feel depressed after sex.
Often, the feelings of disappointment after sex are the result of unrealistic expectations. For example, some people expect that all sex must involve an orgasm to be satisfying. Others believe that only a simultaneous climax constitutes “good sex.” Moreover, if you are unhappy with your body or in an unfulfilling relationship, these issues can also contribute to feelings of depression after sex.
Another cause of feelings of depression after sex is hormone fluctuations, especially during ovulation or PMS. In addition, certain drugs can also trigger these feelings of sadness. Fortunately, there are several ways to prevent these feelings. Some of the most effective methods include open communication, practicing self-care, and seeking professional help.
Despite the negative effects of PCD, it is still possible to recover. The most common way to do this is to talk to your partner about the issue. If you are in a healthy, intimate relationship, your partner should be willing to listen and understand your concerns.
Feelings of resentment
When sex does not live up to your expectations, it can make you feel disappointed and sad afterward. This is especially true if you believe that you need to reach a certain sexual climax in order to feel happy. However, it is important to understand that sexual experiences vary from person to person. This can be due to physical limitations, past traumas, or a lack of emotional intimacy. In addition, it can also be caused by a conflict with social norms, prejudices and myths.
It is common to feel depressed after sex, but if it happens frequently or interferes with your relationship, it may be a sign that you need professional help. Fortunately, there are ways to escape these feelings of depression after sex. For example, you can take deep, diaphragmatic breaths to relax your body and mind. You can also hold on to something – a pillow, your partner, or even a pet – in order to feel secure and grounded.
Some people can shut down the emotional side of sex and view it as just a fun activity or one-night stand, but some cannot. This is fine, but it’s better to know if you’re able to view sex in this way before you start dating someone. Trying to force casual sex when you need a deeper connection can be more hurtful than helpful in the long run.