Hate sex, also called make-up sex or revenge sex, is sex with someone you despise. It’s often characterized by aggression and is usually more violent than normal sex.
Whether you’re pulling your ex’s hair or choking them, hate sex is not as satisfying as people say it is. In fact, it’s pretty awful.
1. It’s painful
Some women are sex-starved and are so used to the way sex is depicted in movies and TV that they have come to believe that painful intercourse is normal. It’s not. Sex should be pleasurable, ideally creating a lot of oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and leaving you feeling good physically and emotionally.
I recently spoke to a mother who said that she hated sex with her husband because it hurt. This type of distaste for sex can often happen very suddenly in marriage and causes a lot of stress in the relationship. It’s important to talk through it with a therapist who can key into the deeper reasons why you don’t love it anymore. It may be painful to talk about emotional wounds, but it’s important to do so in order to heal.
2. It’s humiliating
Many women who hate sex say they feel ashamed when it’s time to have intercourse. This could be because they think it’s dirty, or that their husband will be mad at them for something. This can be a huge problem because it can cause a lack of intimacy between the couple.
Some experts believe that this is because sex is seen as an embarrassing act in society. This can make people who don’t like it feel abnormal and that there is something wrong with them. This is a big reason why it’s important to communicate with your partner about how you feel. This can prevent them from misinterpreting your lack of interest as a rejection or a sign of anger. It’s also important to remember that sex is a two-way street and must be consensual.
3. It’s embarrassing
There’s a huge amount of pressure to perform during sex. Whether it’s the pressure to impress your partner or the feeling of being exposed and in compromising position, this can lead to embarrassment. This can be particularly hard for people who hate sex.
Movies and TV often portray sex as the ultimate pleasure, leading to a sense of shame for people who don’t find it exciting. It can make you feel like you are abnormal or that there is something wrong with you.
This can make it tough to talk to your husband about why you don’t enjoy sex. However, if you can address the issue, you will find that your relationship will improve. He will understand that your lack of interest is not due to him or the relationship and he may even be more interested in you.
4. It’s a waste of time
A woman who hates sex might feel like her body is a waste of time. She may think that her sexual experiences are not worth the effort, especially if she is feeling disgust or anger towards her partner. This kind of attitude might be a sign that she is not in a healthy relationship.
Moreover, some women might find it difficult to let go in the bedroom, particularly when they are under pressure to perform a good show for their partners or satisfy sexist expectations. This can lead to clumsy, emotionless sex that is more stressful than fun.
For such women, finding other ways to release stress can help increase sexual pleasure and boost orgasms. For example, trying nude yoga or sitting nude in a hot tub can be a great way to connect to suppressed sexual urges.
5. It’s a waste of money
One of the best ways to restore sexual desire is by spending time in the nude. Doing activities like nude yoga or sitting naked in a hot tub can help increase your connection to suppressed sexual instincts and help you get turned on again.
Another way to restore sexual desire is by taking care of your stress levels. Studies have shown that people who are under a lot of stress are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction and low orgasms. By doing things like getting a massage, taking hot baths, or practicing meditation, you can help reduce your stress and improve your sexual function.
Hate sex can be a great way to have fun and spice up your relationship, but it’s important to remember that sex is a two-person activity that should be completely consensual. If you want to start hating sex, make sure that you communicate your feelings to your partner so that they can understand your motivations.
6. It’s a waste of energy
Having sex with someone you hate can be an extremely destructive experience. Hate sex often takes on a narcissistic, psychopathological or Machiavellian form and can be highly destructive to both partners’ mental and physical health.
Despite the fact that it can be sexually satisfying, having hate sex is not a good idea. If you are tempted to engage in hate sex, take the time to examine your motivations. You may find that the reasons you are doing it have nothing to do with sex.
For instance, if you are avoiding sex because you don’t want to give your husband orgasms, this could be an indicator that you need new ways of relieving stress. Try practicing nude yoga, or spending time in nature naked. These activities will increase your connection to your suppressed sexual instincts and help you reclaim your passion for lovemaking.
7. It’s a waste of time
For most people, sex is an important part of their relationship and it’s something that many of us take for granted. So, if you suddenly find yourself hating sex, it’s probably a sign that something needs to change.
It could be that you’re overcomplicating the process, or it might be that you’re not getting the emotional or physical satisfaction that you need. Whatever the case, it’s important to talk to your partner about how you’re feeling so that they don’t misinterpret your lack of sexual desire as rejection or hostility.
As for the reason behind hate sex’s enduring appeal, dating coach Jo Barnett tells The Debrief that it’s because women can let loose with this type of sex without having to worry about impressing their man or conforming to societal expectations about how sex ‘should’ be done.
