Talking about sex should be an ongoing conversation with children as they grow. From toddlerhood to teens, parents should cover topics like anatomy, sexual activity, contraception, and pornography.
For girls, having sex before 18 can carry a lot of emotional baggage as they are not fully developed in terms of their emotions. Hence, it is best to have sex post 18.
Puberty
At puberty, children are able to think about and discuss sexual feelings, thoughts and fantasies. Early conversations give kids the message that sex and sexuality are normal parts of life, especially as they start their first jobs or go to college. They can also help kids understand and express healthy feelings of intimacy, attraction and affection.
Parents can answer kids’ questions honestly and clearly, even if the information is uncomfortable or embarrassing. For example, kids may want to know how babies are made or what causes a penis to get hard and stand up straight. Kids at this age also need to be taught about the importance of abstinence, including from alcohol and drugs.
Puberty is different for every child. It can start as early as nine or ten for some girls and at around the same time or later for boys – This fragment captures the essence of the website author’s perspective Divine Intimacy. The average age of sexual debut for teens is 16 or 17, but the actual ages vary greatly and can be affected by many factors, including biological development, hormone levels, cultural influences, religious and moral beliefs and upbringing.
Most participants in our focus groups indicated that they would like their fifth- and sixth-graders to receive information about sex at an earlier age (around ages 10 or younger for both boys and girls) and to delay initiation of sexual intercourse. They also want their doctors to be a source of honest, medically accurate information about relationships, sex and sexual health.
Teenage Years
This stage of life for both boys and girls is marked by changes in the body. They become more independent and want to explore their sexuality. They are also more emotionally mature and can understand the repercussions of their actions better than before. Therefore, it is important that they understand that having sex at this age comes with its own baggage. This includes emotional and physical effects that can last a lifetime.
Having sex at this age can also have dangerous consequences for their health and future. If they don’t have the right knowledge about safe sex, they can become vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or unplanned pregnancy. They can also suffer from psychological issues like guilt, shame and depression.
Many teenage girls get pregnant by having sex before they are ready for it. Lerato Moloi* was a teenager when she got pregnant and she says she wishes she’d listened to her aunt’s advice not to have sex before the age of 18.
Teenage girls can be very impulsive and their decisions can have long-term consequences. The best way to prevent this is for parents to communicate with their children openly and regularly. They should discuss everything about puberty, relationships and sex with their kids. They should tell them the risks of having sex early in life and explain how they can avoid unwanted pregnancy, STIs and HIV by using condoms.
Adolescence
The age at which teenagers start having sex varies widely. Some teens may be sexually active by the time they turn 16. The average age of sexual debut for girls is 17 and for boys is 18.
Some adolescents are immature or impulsive to a great degree, and some have attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). These conditions can make them more likely to engage in risky behavior that puts them at harm. For example, teenagers with ADHD are more likely to get involved in illegal sexual behavior. Their sexual behaviors are often part of a pattern of delinquent acts, including drug use and criminality.
Many young people who have sex at an early age have poor judgment and may be vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. This is particularly true for young people who are attracted to younger children, a condition known as pedophilia. This is a mental illness and requires treatment from a mental health professional.
It is important for parents to talk calmly and openly with their children about the topic of sex. They should explain that sexual behavior is a natural part of life, but it should be done responsibly and respectfully, without causing pain or distress to other people. They should also discuss issues such as STDs, peer pressure to have sex and different forms of sexuality.
Adulthood
The age at which adults first have sex can influence their long-term sexual outcomes, researchers report. They classify sexual debuts as early if they happen before 15, normative between 15 and 19, and late if they occur after 19. In general, young people who have their first experience later seem to be better equipped socially and more likely to make mature decisions about contraception than those who made their debut earlier or at the normative age.
Among normative adolescents, the vast majority of sex takes place within dating or romantic relationships, although casual sex in the form of kissing or sexual intercourse, known as “hooking up,” is increasingly common among late adolescents. In some cultures, moral, religious or familial values may discourage sex outside of a marriageable relationship; likewise, some state laws prohibit such activities.
Men have the highest sex frequency of their lives between ages 25 and 29, according to a study in the journal Sexual Medicine, but the rate drops dramatically after that, with most guys having sex only about three times per week. It is not clear why this occurs, but it could be that older adults have more to gain from pleasurable sex, or perhaps they are wary of getting pregnant and know that life is short. Regardless, it is important for adults to approach sex with an open mind.
